Never Happened
by lipeviez
Summary: Begins after junior prom before the last day of school. What if Quinn couldn't stop thinking about Rachel after slapping her? Rated M to be safe.
1. Chapter 1

That slap. That first physical contact. At that moment they looked into each other's eyes and really saw each other, maybe for the first time. Quinn had quickly apologized. The anger and the jealousy were replaced by regret and something else she couldn't quite place. They later seemed comfortable together, talking to each other in front of the mirror, agreeing to go back outside to support Kurt. She was glad there was something else to focus on besides the memory of her hand on Rachel's face.

Days had gone by and Quinn noticed how her heart beat would race whenever Rachel was around. Thankfully no one else could tell. Quinn had always found it easy to mask her feelings. Feelings. _That couldn't be it_, she thought. It was just that she still felt bad at having let her guard down, for hurting another human being, for letting her emotions control her actions. And Quinn had to secretly admit this to herself... a little part of her also felt guilty for liking it.

During glee, Quinn had to constantly remind herself to pay attention. Her mind was wandering a lot lately, and when that happened more often than not she found herself looking in Rachel's direction. And getting caught staring at Rachel Berry was not going to help her rep. _It's nothing_, she had to keep reminding herself.

To Rachel, having been slapped by Quinn Fabray was like the best thing ever. Yes, it hurt. Yes, she wished Quinn didn't hate her so much. But this only added to her life experience and being the object of someone's intense jealousy was just too delicious to wish away completely. And back at school she noticed that Quinn began to behave differently around her. Just small things. Quinn would get a bit more quiet, maybe even a little wary. Rachel couldn't quite think of the word, which was unusual for her, but out of the corner of her eye she would sometimes catch Quinn looking at her. Rachel naturally played it off and pretended not to notice. _Why make the girl uncomfortable, right?_ Rachel would think to herself. But inwardly, she would always feel warm when it happened. It pleased her to have the prettiest girl in school looking her way.

During the last week of school, Quinn was finding it even harder to concentrate. All she could think about was getting away from all these people. While upset at the time, she was now grateful that Finn had broken up with her. She was free. She felt different and she wanted to be different. The pressures she had put on herself were at last too much to bear. Quinn wanted to do something crazy, something totally unexpected. That haircut during Nationals was just the beginning. The last bell had rung and students were emptying the halls. She was at her locker, quietly taking some books out and putting them into her bag. She didn't even notice that Rachel had come up and was silently watching her. It wasn't until Rachel softly cleared her throat that Quinn looked up. Quinn blushed before she could put her face in neutral. _Shit_, she thought. She looked down embarrassed and was able to calm herself and look up quickly.

"I was cleaning out my locker today, too, and wanted to know if you needed any help disposing of any trash or carrying books to your car. Senior year is right around the corner and I believe in starting fresh..." Rachel rambled on.

Quinn tuned her out because all she could focus on right now were soft, moist lips. The realization that she wanted to touch Rachel's lips hit her hard.

"Quinn? Quinn, are you okay? You look a little flushed. Maybe we should go to the bathroom and you could put a wet paper towel on your face," Rachel offered. She looked genuinely concerned.

"Um, yeah, okay," Quinn said quietly. She wasn't sure why she let Rachel close her locker or why she was silently following the girl to the bathroom. Thankfully it was deserted.

They didn't speak while Rachel pulled one paper towel from the dispenser, neatly folded it into a small rectangle, wet it under the faucet, and gently placed it on Quinn's neck. Quinn's hand shot up to Rachel's and quickly took the paper towel away.

"Thanks, I can do this myself," Quinn explained apologetically because Rachel's face looked hurt. Her neck felt hot from where Rachel's fingers had lightly brushed her skin. Quinn barely registered that Rachel's breathing had shallowed.

"Well, if you're feeling better, maybe I should get going..." Rachel trailed off.

"Yeah, thank you, Rachel," Quinn replied. She was looking at herself in the mirror, dabbing the wet paper towel on her neck, her forehead, and her temples. It wasn't helping. The room felt hot. In the mirror she could see that Rachel hadn't moved. "I'll see you tomorrow," Quinn added, "last day of school and all."

"Yes, of course," Rachel said quickly. But she didn't really want to go. Watching Quinn in the mirror was mesmerizing. Without thinking, instead of stepping to the door, she inched closer to Quinn until her right arm was touching Quinn's left side. Her heart raced when she heard Quinn gasp at the contact and it was in overdrive when she noted Quinn didn't pull away.

"Rachel, um, what are you..." Quinn couldn't finish the question. Her eyes locked on Rachel's reflection and noticed that Rachel was just as flushed as she was. Relief filled her heated body. She was glad that Rachel had taken the initiative because she was just too damned scared to take that leap.

"Quinn," Rachel whispered. "This doesn't ever have to leave this room. We don't ever have to talk about it. As far as I'm concerned, it isn't even happening. Okay?"

Part of Quinn wanted to laugh. To cut the girl down. Make fun of her for even thinking what she was thinking. But the other part, the one that answered Rachel, only said, "Okay."

They still hadn't stopped looking at each other through the mirror. Each girl was too afraid to turn and look at the real girl next to her. It was Rachel that bravely took Quinn's left hand and then her right hand, the one that had slapped her and put it to her face. It was like reliving that slap in slow motion only now Quinn was softly caressing her. Neither girl could speak. Rachel seemed to sense that if she did, the spell would be broken and Quinn would stop and leave.

Rachel could hardly believe this was happening. It was like a dream. She had felt this way when Finn had looked at her or when he touched her but how in the world could Quinn Fabray be making her feel this way, too? She hardly knew Quinn, not really; it had to be just a physical thing, lust, something like that. When she looked in Quinn's eyes she could see that the taller girl was torn.

Quinn felt like her hand was on fire. Sweet, silky fire. And she wanted more but she didn't know how to take it. She tried to relate this to Rachel with her eyes and again, thankfully, Rachel understood because she pressed her body up against Quinn's until their noses were almost touching. They quietly inhaled each other's breath. Quinn wished that Rachel would make the final move but also knew that Rachel was waiting for her consent. One word and she could end this. She could step away and could honestly (almost) say that nothing happened. Quinn looked down at Rachel's lips and as if pulled by gravity leaned in and brushed them with her own.

Rachel moaned slightly but remained still and let Quinn kiss the corner of her mouth, and then her bottom lip. Chaste, closed-mouth kisses, but as erotic as anything either girl had ever felt. Rachel could feel the arousal build within her and hoped Quinn felt the same.

Quinn pulled back for one more look at Rachel's face. A light sheen of sweat shown on her forehead, her eyes closed, her lips parted. Quinn memorized everything she could. Because she knew this was never going to happen again. She would never let this happen again. Her arousal was slightly dampened by sadness at this ending of something that hadn't even really begun. She pushed it away and crashed her lips against Rachel's, tongue demanding entry, hungrily tasting her.

Rachel felt hands all over her body. Quinn roughly pushed her up against the sink and Rachel wrapped her hands around the back of Quinn's neck, letting Quinn control this kiss. She felt her breasts press tightly against Quinn's and moaned loudly into Quinn's mouth. Rachel could barely breathe and her hands moved to Quinn's back, hanging on for dear life, but she wasn't going to be the one to break away. She wanted this to last and last.

They melted into each other and finally Quinn allowed herself to moan in pleasure, to let go of everything outside, and be there completely with Rachel. It was no longer: get it done, get it out of her system and never look back. In an instant, instead of kissing in desperation, Quinn slowed down and let Rachel take control. They didn't pull apart, not wanting to waste precious time. Rachel slowly massaged Quinn's tongue with her own, licking her teeth, nibbling her lips. They both wanted to burn this kiss into their memories.

Without warning, Quinn abruptly pulled away and stepped to the sink to the right of the one Rachel was leaning against. Quinn heard Rachel panting heavily but didn't look her way. _Oh god, oh god, what just happened? what did I do?_ Quinn repeatedly thought to herself. She looked at herself in the mirror and when her own breathing had normalized, silently began fixing her hair, straightening her top, fixing and reapplying her lipstick.

Rachel watched it all in shock. She slowly turned to face the mirror and she looked at herself. She wanted to cry. Or laugh. She just made out with Quinn Fabray; no one would believe it. Not that she was going to tell. She quickly began putting herself back together.

While she was making herself presentable, Quinn replayed the kiss over and over in her mind. She needed to get out of there before she grabbed the girl again and clothes started removing themselves but she didn't know if she should wait until Rachel finished or just leave. She decided to wait.

When both girls were finally ready to get back to life, Rachel turned to look at Quinn. Quinn braced herself; she had no idea what Rachel was going to say.

"I guess I'll see you later," Rachel said slowly.

"I'll see you later," Quinn repeated stiffly and she quickly turned and walked out of the bathroom.

Rachel waited a couple of minutes before doing the same. She had wanted to say more to Quinn but didn't know how. Later she would kick herself for not telling Quinn how amazing the kiss was, how wonderful it felt, that she'll never forget it ever. But she also wanted to show Quinn she knew how to keep a promise.

Quinn managed to make it to her car without breaking down. She turned the ignition and waited for the tears but nothing happened. God, she could still feel Rachel against her body...

"It never happened," Quinn whispered to herself. She closed her eyes, counted to ten, and when she opened them she put the car in gear. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Rachel exit the school but she didn't stop to offer her a ride. More than anything she wanted to get away, get away from glee, get away from herself.


	2. Chapter 2

****Thanks for the very kind comments/reviews. Hadn't planned on writing a Glee fic but I just couldn't get that junior prom episode out of my mind. The first chapter was meant to be a one-shot but after re-watching the season 3 finale I thought there might be something more I could add. I don't think I'll be taking it beyond a third chapter, though. A lot of what I see between Quinn and Rachel is understatement and missed connections. And sometimes unrealized and unfulfilled desire remains just that. Just a warning. ****

* * *

_Here we are_, Rachel thought. _Senior year practically over and a lot has changed_. _I'm even more fabulous_, Rachel complimented herself with a smile. School was done for the day and she was at her locker cleaning it out. Graduation was in two days and she didn't want to be lugging a huge bag home at that time when there was lots of celebrating to be done. There was her parents' dinner and Finn had something special planned as well. _And I'll find out about NYADA and then Finn and I will be married!_

Rachel glanced around the halls at her fellow students. She felt old and young at the same time. Without thinking about it, her eyes searched for a certain someone but figured she was probably gone. Rachel sighed. For the umpteenth time, ever since Quinn gave her those train passes, she played out in her head everything that had happened between them over the last year. It took all of her willpower to keep from contacting Quinn last summer. Many a late night had been spent wondering how she could bring up the subject of their... _tryst? intimate moment?_ Rachel struggled with a label. She turned back to her locker. But that was the summer. She had eventually gotten through it and moved on. Sure, there were bumps along the way. Rachel could think of several instances where she thought she might burst if she didn't bring it up, especially the time when Quinn tried to convince her not to marry Finn or when Quinn nearly died in her accident. But Rachel respected their agreement and kept silent.

Quinn was idly walking through the halls reflecting on the past year. Senior year proved harder to get through than Quinn imagined. It only took being confronted by Shelby and Beth to make her realize that she was a long way from accepting all the things that had happened. And that while she could let go of the expectations she and others placed on her, what she had really done was put off facing her fears. Just when she thought she had it all figured out, she had her car accident. An experience like that can really put things in perspective. Quinn glanced around to get her bearings and saw she was down the hall from Rachel's locker, where she saw an engrossed Rachel cleaning hers out. Unseen, she turned away and headed towards her own locker. _Maybe not all things are meant to be resolved_, Quinn sighed to herself.

It's not as if Quinn was losing sleep over what happened at the end of last year. Well, admittedly, the first few months were difficult but eventually her nightly mantra of _'It never happened'_ worked and she stopped dreaming about Rachel. Soon after that she didn't need a mantra. Aside from some furtive glances and shared smiles, she and Rachel kept to their word. _I did have other more important things to deal with during the year_, she thought as she opened her locker and began filling her bag. Plus they had become friends and were going to keep in touch next year. She and Rachel had come a long way and she didn't want to ruin that by bringing up one of her many moments of weakness. Calling it that helped Quinn not to dwell on it. Quinn shook her head. _I don't have regrets. It is what it is and things are as they should be._ With that thought, she shut her locker and headed to the exit.

"Why am I even thinking about this?" Rachel muttered under her breath. _Train passes don't mean anything. She's moved on, I've moved on._

Rachel quickly catalogued what remained in her locker. She would get the rest after graduation. She closed it and took a deep breath. With a long exhale, she tried to push away thoughts of Quinn Fabray. _Clear your mind, Rachel. The school year is over and..._ Suddenly, her mind was anything but clear. Emotions and memories she thought long buried bubbled to the surface. She felt a chill down her spine as she recalled Quinn's moan during their kiss. With renewed clarity, she finally let herself acknowledge that it was practically the one-year anniversary of that secret moment.

Rachel headed toward Quinn's locker. Quinn wasn't there but that's not what she wanted to see. Rachel looked down the hall towards that bathroom where she had felt so much passion and longing. Rachel came to the realization that she'd been lying to herself; that she had never really dealt with what had happened. She'd never told anyone, not even Finn. Part of her knew true closure would only come with talking it out with Quinn but she also knew that wasn't part of the agreement. So Rachel did the next best thing she could think of: she walked swiftly to the bathroom to indulge in her memories. Since she spent most of the last year unsuccessfully trying to suppress those feelings and forget what had happened, Rachel hoped that if she did the opposite, if she could relive that moment, really face and accept what it had meant to her, then maybe it would be like an exorcism and she could leave McKinley High with the door closed on that subject forever.

A few minutes earlier, Quinn was at her car, putting her stuff in, and as she sat down she looked in her bag to make sure everything was there but couldn't find her phone. _I must've left it in my locker when I grabbed everything else_, she thought angrily. Exasperated, she got out of the car and briskly walked back into the school. As she approached her locker, from a distance she could see Rachel rush into the girls' bathroom. Quinn was mildly curious but went straight to her locker to retrieve her phone. A junior Cheerio came up and asked her some admissions questions about Yale. Once that conversation was over her thoughts turned back to Rachel. She hadn't seen her exit the bathroom while she was talking with that Cheerio and wondered if she was okay. Quinn looked around the halls and while there were a few stragglers, the school was essentially empty. She would just go check in on Rachel and make sure everything was good before heading home.

Quinn was not prepared for what she found. In shock, she saw Rachel leaning against the sink with her back to the mirror, a bit flushed with eyes closed, her left hand on her face with fingers touching her lips and her right hand slowly moving up to her breasts. She was faintly humming a song to herself; it was familiar, but Quinn was too focused on Rachel's right hand to give it much attention. Just before Rachel brought her fingers over her nipples Quinn's hand slipped on the door and it closed. Quinn hadn't realized she'd been holding it ajar. The noise jolted Rachel from her reverie and their eyes locked before Rachel turned to the mirror in complete embarrassment.

_Oh my god! What was I thinking?_ Rachel scolded herself. _I was imagining Quinn pressed up against my body, that's what,_ her mind answered her. She started washing her hands, frantically trying to regain her composure.

"Hi, Quinn... um... how long... uh, I was just..." she gave up and fell silent. She grabbed some paper towels to dry her hands and readied herself for Quinn's ridicule.

Quinn felt just as embarrassed at catching Rachel in such a private moment and thought she should just walk out. But after hearing Rachel speak, Quinn couldn't resist teasing her, if only for a minute.

"Hi, Rachel," Quinn said with a slight smirk to Rachel's reflection and walked to the sink to the right of the clearly distressed girl. She looked at herself in the mirror and suppressed a smile. Rather than outright teasing, she decided to pretend not to have seen anything and just watch Rachel squirm.

"I left my phone in the locker and then saw you rush in here. I just wanted to see if you were all right. You do seem a bit out of breath. Are you okay?" Quinn asked innocently.

At first, Rachel didn't know what to say. _Is Quinn going to let me off the hook?_ She stared hard at Quinn and could tell Quinn was enjoying this. She had been expecting torture but somehow Quinn's light teasing was even more infuriating. Rachel angrily turned back to the mirror. If Quinn was intentionally trying to make her feel uncomfortable, two could play that game. Then maybe she could finally get closure on what happened between them. She was risking the friendship they had built but Rachel's pent-up frustration could no longer be contained. She had to try.

"I'm fine, Quinn, thank you for asking," Rachel replied sweetly but firmly. "But maybe you could help me. I was just trying to remember something." She turned back towards Quinn, smiled, and paused for effect.

Quinn's inner alarm went off and she wondered if she had made a mistake in trying to rile Rachel up. But she was not one to let Rachel get one up on her. Ignoring her unease she shifted to Fabray mode, face betraying nothing, ready to squash Berry if necessary. "What's that, Rachel?" she asked unafraid.

"Was it this sink you had me up against or that one?"


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks again for the kind comments. I have a whole new respect for those folks who take on the 20+ chapter story and update regularly. One more chapter after this one.

* * *

_"Was it this sink you had me up against or that one?"_

While she waited for Quinn's reply, Rachel thought about the past several minutes. She hadn't intended to touch herself when she went into the bathroom. Her very practical plan, or so she thought, was just to recreate that moment in her mind. But after she walked in and looked at the stark surroundings of the school bathroom, Rachel admitted to herself that she had developed feelings for Quinn. She remembered being caught up in the physical part of the kiss but at the time she refused to even acknowledge an emotional aspect. Running her finger along the sink, she felt an overwhelming pang of regret for not figuring this out sooner.

_Tell her I'll be waiting_

_in the usual place_

_With the tired and weary,_

_there's no escape._

The opening lines to this song had played in Rachel's head. It was a song about love but also obsession, depending on the situation. "Am I obsessed?" she had wondered out loud to the empty bathroom. It wasn't enough to _remember_ what happened, she realized. She wanted to _feel_ it, too. Rachel needed to identify whatever feelings she had for Quinn, to see how strong they were, so that she could overcome them. She had found herself putting her left hand to her cheek, trying to touch herself as delicately as Quinn had touched her, quickly losing track of time until Quinn interrupted her. Rachel inwardly cringed at the embarrassing memory. And now she was about to see if she could get Quinn's walls to crumble just long enough to talk this out.

Rachel's question blindsided Quinn. She felt like the wind had been knocked out of her. Her eyes fell on the sink Rachel had been leaning against and images of last year's kiss flashed in her mind. As if they had physically pushed her, Quinn took a step back and turned to the mirror.

In a voice remarkably calm in spite of her shaking exterior, Quinn sternly said, "Rachel, stop."

From Quinn's reaction, Rachel knew that Quinn remembered just as well as she did which sink, how they were positioned, everything.

"Quinn, I..."

"No!" Quinn nearly shouted as she turned to face Rachel and then glanced at the exit.

She lowered her voice, "I... this is... I have to go." The memory of the kiss filled her body and set her skin on fire. She needed to escape. Quinn darted to the door but Rachel was faster and blocked her way. Without missing a beat, Quinn grabbed her and tried to push Rachel to the side. Rachel used Quinn's momentum to pull her to her chest and was able to switch positions so that Quinn's back was now against the door. Quinn tried to push back but Rachel's hands on her shoulders kept her firmly in place.

"Rachel, please..." Quinn pleaded. "Don't do this. The year's almost over, we're graduating. Just drop it, okay?"

"I just need to know one thing." Rachel tried to be soothing. She relaxed her grip and Quinn took the opportunity to shove her away.

"No! We agreed! You said we wouldn't ever talk about it. It didn't happen!"

"I know! I know what I said, all right? But, and I know it's just semantics, but technically I only said that it didn't _have_ to leave this room, that we didn't _have_ to talk about it."

Quinn stared back in disbelief. Was Rachel actually quibbling over exact wording?

Rachel took advantage of Quinn's silence and continued, "Well, this is the same room, right? And I know we don't have to talk about it, and I can't make you, but I need to... I need to so badly."

Rachel was begging and Quinn felt herself wanting to give in. She walked back to the mirror and tried to calm herself. She needed to act quickly. She couldn't stop Rachel by pleading. Quinn also feared that if she ran out now, Rachel might turn to someone else and Quinn definitely didn't want anyone else knowing their secret.

After a long silence, Quinn quietly asked, "Why?"

"Because... right now I can't stop thinking about it," Rachel sighed. She walked to the sink next to Quinn, put her hands on the sink and stared hard at her own reflection.

"Don't misunderstand me, it's not like I've been plotting all year how to trap you into this conversation. But today... I just can't get over the feeling that if I don't talk this out now, I'll always regret it. I don't want regrets in my life. It's not fair to me or Finn."

Quinn was torn. Tempted to say "get over it" and leave, she concluded that the only way to get out of this situation was to get through it. But it was dangerous. She had carefully tiptoed around this subject for very good reasons.

Looking around the room, her eyes finally settled on Rachel's face. Quinn needed Rachel to absolutely understand that if she was going to do this, it would be on her terms.

"Rachel, I have some ground rules."

Rachel quickly turned to face Quinn. _Was Quinn actually agreeing to talk about it?_

"Only yes or no questions," Quinn said and then paused, noting with satisfaction the growing worry on Rachel's face. Quinn wanted to speak as little as possible to reduce the chance of revealing too much.

"When this conversation ends, that's it. The subject of last year is closed. Is that clear?"

"But..."

"No. I could walk out right now but I know you don't want me to do that. And I promise to stay and answer all questions but under my rules, okay?"

Rachel knew she was cornered. She muttered, "Okay."

"Finally," Quinn continued, "if someone walks in here, the conversation ends even if you're not finished, even if it's mid-sentence. No to-be-continued's. Agreed?"

"You should be a lawyer," Rachel stated matter-of-factly.

"Agreed, Rachel?"

"Agreed."

Quinn turned back to the mirror. She didn't have the strength to continue looking in Rachel's beautiful eyes. _They're __not__ beautiful_. She braced herself for Rachel's first question. Her ground rules gave her some control but Rachel was hard to predict. She hoped she wouldn't have to lie but she would do what was necessary to end this once and for all.

"Did you ever think about what happened between us over the summer?" Rachel asked, heart pounding. She knew Quinn could be a very good liar but it was exhilarating to speak freely about what up until now had been a taboo subject between them. She prayed that the school was empty enough so that there would be no interruptions.

"Yes," Quinn answered honestly. She smiled at Rachel's reflection because it was obvious Rachel wanted her to elaborate but she wasn't obligated to do so.

"Did you regret it?" Rachel couldn't help holding her breath.

"Yes," Quinn replied. It was partly true. She did regret it at the time. And then there were those late summer nights where she wished more had happened... but she pushed those thoughts away.

"Have you always regretted it?" Rachel asked hesitantly.

_Ugh_. It's like Rachel could read her mind. Quinn decided to be truthful, "No."

Being in such close proximity to Rachel, being forced to examine their kiss and the aftermath, Quinn's heartbeat quickened. She felt warm and hyper-sensitive to Rachel's presence. She inwardly scolded her body's reaction to Rachel.

"Did you enjoy kissing me?"

"Yes." Quinn answered before she could stop herself. It was like she was under a spell.

"What did it mean to you, Quinn?" Rachel asked huskily. She had inched closer to Quinn. She hadn't expected Quinn to answer this way, in what sounded like truthful answers, and she couldn't help but want to be closer to Quinn, to touch her.

"Rules, Rachel," Quinn warned. Quinn saw that Rachel was very much in her personal space and this seemed to wake her up to what was happening. She still refused to look directly at Rachel.

Rachel knew Quinn well enough now to tell she was struggling. _Just ask her._

"Will you look at me when I ask this next question?" Rachel asked.

Reluctantly, Quinn turned to face Rachel but kept her face as hard as possible. Her eyes widened as Rachel moved so that they were mere inches apart.

"Did it mean anything to you?"

Quinn looked deep into those expressive brown eyes and wanted to say yes but she couldn't admit to herself how important that kiss was, much less to Rachel. How could she make Rachel understand that no matter what she managed to get out of Quinn, at the end of the day they were still only ever going to be friends?

"No," Quinn answered and stepped away.

Rachel was crushed. _Of course it didn't mean anything to Quinn_, she thought despondently. She turned away.

"Was it just a physical thing for you, then?" Rachel felt sick but she needed to know.

Thankful for something to cling to, Quinn weakly replied, "Yes." She hated lying. She turned toward the mirror and closed her eyes; she couldn't look at Rachel.

After a couple of minutes of silence, Quinn thought Rachel was done. She opened her eyes, let out a deep breath, and made for the exit.

"Wait," said Rachel, "I'm not finished. Please."

During the silence, Rachel had studied the closed-eyed Quinn. Rachel concluded that Quinn had to be lying. And if she was lying, that meant the kiss did mean something to Quinn. If only Rachel could get Quinn to admit the truth. _Perhaps the only way to do that would be to see how well Quinn could lie under pressure._


	4. Chapter 4

***Thanks everyone, I'm so glad you've enjoyed this fic. I hope this last chapter doesn't disappoint. I'm going to end this story here, we'll see if anything in the next season inspires me to pick it back up, but in the meantime consider it complete. ***

* * *

"I have a few more questions and you said you wouldn't leave until I'm done," Rachel said nervously.

"Fine." Quinn cautiously stepped back to her spot at the sink next to Rachel. She thought briefly about how important conversations with Rachel always seemed to happen in the bathroom.

Rachel gave Quinn a small smile. _This is crazy! Can I really pull this off?_ _If Finn ever found out, he'd be unbelievably furious and hurt..._ Suddenly, her nervousness disappeared. Rachel realized she had much more experience than she did last year... maybe even more experience than Quinn. It occurred to her that during last year's kiss, she'd hardly gotten a chance to touch Quinn. She had let Quinn do all the exploring. Her smile broadened. _I'll get Quinn out of my system and Finn will never know_.

Quinn felt raw. _Why did I promise I would stay until Rachel was finished?_ She tried to gather her strength. That became more difficult to do when Rachel placed herself directly in front of Quinn, practically backing her up against the sink.

"If what you've told me is true, then this shouldn't bother you, Quinn. Please answer my questions under the previously agreed upon rules." It was more a command than a request.

Quinn opened her mouth to speak but couldn't find the words. Rachel placed her hands on Quinn's forearms. Again, Quinn was speechless. Rachel began caressing Quinn's arms, fingers rubbing circles on the inside of her wrists. Quinn tried to pull away but then Rachel firmly grasped her hands. Rachel's eyes told her that this was how it was going to be. She was too stunned (and a little turned on) to argue.

When Quinn stilled, Rachel let go of her hands and returned to caressing Quinn's wrists, her forearms, her upper arms. One hand tracing circles and swirls, and then the other doing the same. First one, then the other. Rachel let this go on for a few minutes. She saw how the sensation affected Quinn, how her breathing had shallowed, how Quinn barely managed to keep her eyes open.

Rachel finally spoke, "The whole point of this conversation was to find out why you continue to make me feel this way, Quinn. Why, when I'm alone with you, do I feel butterflies? Why, of all the people in this school, is it so important for me to be friends with you? Why am I so attracted to you?"

These questions shocked Quinn. Rachel was admitting things that Quinn would never admit in a million years. This coupled with Rachel's attentions to her body brought a lump to her throat.

"Yes or no questions, Berry" Quinn managed to breathe out. _Hold it together, Fabray._

"Am I the only one who feels this way?" Rachel asked, almost rhetorically. She knew the answer. It was just a matter of making Quinn know it, too.

"Yes," Quinn whispered. She gasped as Rachel's hands moved off her shoulders and trailed across her chest, fingers just barely grazing her breasts as they settled at her stomach and then waist.

Rachel smirked at the lie. Moments ago she was devastated but now she was in complete control and she liked the feeling immensely. She looked up at the very beautiful girl in front of her and pressed herself against her.

Quinn's eyes fluttered closed as she bit back a moan. Quinn knew this shouldn't be happening. Last year, she had told herself never again, it would never happen again. But Rachel was making it impossible to resist.

"Do you enjoy feeling my body?" Rachel asked, increasingly confident. She was a woman acutely aware of her sexual power. It made her feel brave, like she could do anything. And Quinn's unwitting responses were so tantalizingly sexy. She noticed everything, like how Quinn was biting the inside of her lower lip, how Quinn alternated between opening and balling up her fists, the beads of sweat that began to form on her forehead and upper chest. Everything Quinn did was electric and she felt it all beneath her fingertips. Rachel knew she was crossing a line and that crossing back to friendship was probably impossible, but right now all she cared about was a girl with blonde hair and hazel eyes.

"N-no," stammered Quinn hoarsely. She felt Rachel's hands again move up and down her arms as Rachel's breasts pressed against hers. She continued to keep her eyes closed as she felt Rachel lean in close to her face. Looking at Rachel now would unravel her completely.

"You like it when I take the initiative, just like last year, don't you?" whispered Rachel into Quinn's left ear, tongue flicking her earlobe.

"I... um... no." Quinn was flustered. She licked her lips, breathing heavily, hands gripping the sides of the sink behind her, her will battling with her arousal.

Rachel slowly moved her face away from Quinn's left side to her right. Quinn had turned slightly towards her so that Rachel's lips lightly brushed Quinn's right cheek, at which Quinn quickly turned away as if burned.

"Do you want to kiss me?" Rachel whispered in Quinn's right ear, this time moving her hands up Quinn's stomach, just under her breasts.

Quinn's body screamed yes. She ached for Rachel's hands to touch her everywhere but somehow she was able to squeak out an unconvincing no. Her eyes still clenched shut, she heard Rachel chuckle.

Rachel's left hand lingered just below Quinn's breasts, every now and then brushing up against them with her knuckles. With her right index finger, she traced a line along Quinn's jaw line, down her throat, across her collarbone, as if mapping a route, threatening to go lower but not quite going below the neckline of Quinn's top.

"Is this as painful for you as it is for me?" Rachel asked, her voice cracking, at last betraying to Quinn what this was doing to her, how much she wanted this. One small move and she could have Quinn moaning her name. It would be so easy and resisting was becoming torture.

Quinn could only shake her head helplessly, still trying to deny her feelings. The crack in Rachel's voice stirred something deep inside her, though. She opened her eyes and saw Rachel staring at her with intense desire. Rachel pressed into her again more tightly and Quinn couldn't suppress her moan this time, her hands grabbing Rachel's waist as her knees buckled.

Rachel brought her hands to Quinn's breasts, feeling the hardened nipples through Quinn's clothing. She leaned up and with her lips almost against Quinn's, she whispered, "Liar."

Quinn closed her eyes and threw her head back in surrender. Rachel immediately responded with kisses along Quinn's jaw line and down her throat, following the path she traced with her finger. Quinn's hands moved to Rachel's back and Rachel furiously pinched and kneaded Quinn's breasts. Quinn wanted Rachel on her mouth but every time she got close, Rachel pulled away, concentrating on Quinn's neck and shoulders.

It's not as if she didn't want to kiss Quinn. Rachel wanted to kiss her more than anything. She had one more question, however, and she wanted the truth this time.

"What did it mean, Quinn?" Rachel breathed between kisses down Quinn's throat, ignoring the yes or no rules.

Quinn was trembling as Rachel was kissing and licking just under her chin. Quinn wanted her; she needed her.

"Ev... everything," Quinn cried, gasping, "...everything." And with that she roughly grabbed Rachel's hair and pulled her into a punishing kiss. Rachel kissed her back with equal intensity and it spurred Quinn on. She flipped their places so that Rachel was now backed against the sink. Quinn released Rachel's lips and bit her way down Rachel's neck. From Rachel's gasps and mewling sounds, she knew Rachel didn't mind. Quinn's hands moved down to the back of Rachel's thighs and lifted her up so that she precariously sat on the edge of the sink.

Rachel wrapped her legs around Quinn almost instantly. Feeling Quinn pressed against her like that drove her wild. Quinn gave her a brief smile and then leaned in for the deepest and softest kiss Rachel had ever experienced. She felt one of Quinn's hands groping her thigh, the other hand across her back holding her close. She groaned in pleasure every time Quinn pressed into her. Quinn kissed her like it was going to last forever. Then Quinn stopped.

Rachel's heart sank. But instead of pulling out of their embrace, Quinn placed her hands on either side of Rachel's face, lightly kissed her on the lips, then put her forehead against Rachel's, silently looking at her. Rachel could see the tenderness and desire in Quinn's eyes. She could also see the fear and uncertainty. Rachel brought her hands up to Quinn's face and kissed her gently on the forehead.

"We could stop..." Rachel offered, still panting slightly. "Pretend it didn't happen..."

Quinn smiled sadly. _That's what's going to happen_, she thought, but said nothing. She wanted to enjoy this moment with Rachel. _Just one more kiss before I_...

Laughter suddenly erupted outside the bathroom door, which slightly opened then closed without anyone entering. Rachel saw the panic on Quinn's face and they quickly pulled apart and began straightening their clothes in front of the mirror, both glancing at the door waiting for whoever it was to come inside. After a tense minute with no one entering, Rachel began to relax. But she saw that Quinn was nowhere close to relaxing. Her whole body had stiffened and there was barely disguised disgust on her face. She wanted nothing more than to reach out to Quinn, and did so, but when Quinn raised a hand as if to stop her, she knew that their _conversation_ was over, that Quinn had made her choice.

Quinn couldn't form a coherent thought. Anger, frustration, disappointment, relief, so many feelings at once flooded through Quinn. She prayed more than anything that whoever had been outside in the hall hadn't seen anything. She glared at Rachel unsure at what to do.

Rachel turned to face the mirror to compose herself. She was still extremely aroused, but also disappointed and hurt beyond belief. _How could something that means so much not be enough?_ She was tired of being the only one who put herself out there and guilt over Finn was beginning to creep up on her. She knew what she had to do.

"Thank you, Quinn. I know what this is now even if you don't," Rachel said, as she fixed stray strands of hair. "This... this really could've been something... but I won't force you or coerce you; I obviously can't reason with you." This next part was harder to say. "Besides, I got the closure I wanted: one last kiss and now I can marry Finn and move on. If all you want is friendship then... I can do that."

Quinn felt like she had lost something. A familiar emptiness filled her. _This was it_. _This was how it's going to end. And I'm not going to do a damn thing._ She looked at Rachel. Rachel looked miserable but resigned, like she finally accepted the way things were. Somehow that hurt even more. _She's going to get married! We would be so wrong! _ Quinn screamed at herself. _Friends. Being friends is better than screwing up each other's lives._ She hesitated but then moved toward Rachel and pulled her into a hug, one where their bodies pressed intimately against each other. She quietly breathed in the scent of Rachel's hair.

Rachel knew a goodbye hug when she felt one. She wanted to cry.

"I guess I'm just too young to reason with," Quinn said softly.

Rachel pulled back a little to look at Quinn. She was confused but then recognized the reference to the song she had been humming when Quinn first walked into the bathroom. That embarrassing moment seemed like ages ago.

"Or too grown up to dream," added Rachel sadly. She would never be able to listen to that song again. Rachel pulled out of the hug first. It hurt too much to touch Quinn now.

Quinn felt cold inside at how easily she could bring down her mask. _It was so much easier to pretend than to be real_, she thought bitterly. She hadn't meant to bring up the song but in hugging Rachel, she found herself thinking about those lyrics as fitting.

The silence was awkward. Neither girl seemed ready to walk out, wanting to postpone the inevitable a bit longer. They looked into each other's eyes. Rachel was all emotion. Quinn's face looked cool and detached but inside she was broken.

"I guess I'll see you later," Rachel said, echoing last year's parting.

Without a word Quinn walked to the door, her back to Rachel. Her hand on the handle, she stopped and turned her head slightly.

"Rachel..." Quinn paused for a long time. "Maybe... maybe if things..."

"I know," helped Rachel, and she turned back to the mirror to watch Quinn's reflection. _I got what I wanted, didn't I? Closure? At least we'll be in different cities and I won't have to see her every day... to long for her..._ She couldn't tell for sure but thought she saw Quinn blink back a tear.

Rachel looked down before saying, "Bye."

"Bye," Quinn replied, and then left. As she walked down the hall and exited the school, Quinn thought things like 'it's better this way' and 'no regrets.' It was useless to try to forget it ever happened but she told herself there was a whole life ahead to look forward to, new people to meet, and looking back on might-have-been's and used-to-be's would only hold her back. Quinn began to re-think those train passes. _Maybe visiting Rachel is not such a good idea after all. _She told herself all these things as she drove away and ignored the sobs racking her body.

* * *

**** The song, in case you don't know, "Slave to love" by Bryan Ferry.


End file.
